When the kids don't lift off: How can you start your epic retirement?

And in today's newspapers, 'The myth of retirement is a con, don’t fall for it'

Mar 22, 2025

Newspapers: The myth of retirement is a con, don’t fall for it
Feature: When the kids don't lift off: How can you start your epic retirement?
Podcast: How Trump's presidency and market volatility could affect YOUR super and your retirement with Mary Delahunty from ASFA
From Bec’s Desk: Did you hear the news?

Before we get started though… a promotion for our upcoming How to Have an Epic Retirement Flagship Course.

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When the kids don’t lift off

How can you have an epic retirement when they still need you?

Many of those entering retirement imagined it a little differently, didn’t you?

Did you imagine retirement would be a bit different? Image: Canva

Retirement was supposed to be the time when things would ease off a bit. You’d raise your kids, help them through school or uni, maybe lend a hand with a house deposit, and then — eventually — they’d launch. You’d get your lounge room back. You’d stop being an unpaid Uber driver or personal loan provider. You could finally turn the page to your next chapter. Prime Time. Epic Retirement. You time.

But for many people, that chapter is being delayed. Or rewritten entirely.

Because many kids haven’t lifted off.

They’re still at home. Or they’ve come back. Or they’ve got real problems — financial, mental health, work-related, relationship breakdowns — and they need you more now than they did when they were little. And you love them. Of course you do. You want to help. But you also wonder: when is it my turn?

This is one of the hardest parts of modern retirement. Not the money. Not the super system. Not even the health stuff. It’s this grey zone of expectations and love and guilt and survival.

And no one really talks about it. Let’s talk about it.

Why it’s happening

There are a bunch of reasons this is happening more now than ever:

Housing costs are astronomical – especially for under-35s trying to live in cities and make ends meet.
The job market is unstable – casual work, layoffs, career shifts, or automation are hitting young adults hard. And they’ll probably be even more impactful in the years ahead.
Mental health issues are rising – and you’re often the emotional (and financial) backstop for neurodivergent kids who need extra support and kids with mental health issues alike.
Cultural norms have shifted – launching isn’t just moving out. It’s becoming self-sufficient in a very expensive world. That’s harder now than it used to be.

And while most parents are happy to support their kids when times are tough, what’s often unspoken is the toll it takes — emotionally and financially — especially when you're at the point where you're trying to wind down, not gear up.

It can feel like emotional whiplash

You’ve probably spent decades planning, saving, imagining. You finally get to the age where you can start dreaming big again — travel, new hobbies, more time together, downsizing, volunteering, a slower pace. And then life says: “Hang on. Not yet.” One child or even two whiplash back into your home.

It can be disorienting. It can feel selfish to even say, “I want this next phase of my life.” But it’s not selfish. It’s valid. And it matters.

We need to make space for both truths:

Your adult kids may genuinely need your support right now.
You still deserve to design and live a meaningful, enjoyable second half of life.

So what can you do?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. But here’s what I’m seeing work for people:

Have a grown-up family conversation.
Be honest about your timeline, your plans, and your boundaries. It doesn’t have to be a confrontation — but don’t let your own needs get lost in the chaos. Kids are often more understanding than we give them credit for, especially if you frame it as “I want us all to thrive.”

Redefine the dream.
Maybe your Epic Retirement doesn’t start with caravanning or overseas adventures. Maybe it starts small — one weekend a month where you take time for you. One day a week that’s not about caregiving or crisis-managing. You don’t have to go big to go epic. Remember — Epic is about meaning, passions and purpose too.

Set financial boundaries.
This one’s tough, but important. Supporting adult kids can’t come at the cost of your own long-term wellbeing. If you drain your super or keep postponing your transition out of full-time work, it’s not just your retirement at risk — it’s your ability to be there for them in the long run.

Explore options beyond you.
If your child has health, housing, or job challenges, see what services or support systems exist beyond your household. You don’t have to shoulder it all alone.

Reclaim a piece of yourself.
Whether it’s a creative pursuit, a walking group, a course, or just coffee with friends — keep that part of you alive. You’re not just someone else’s parent or safety net. You’re still you. And you matter.

And remember — this is a generation-defining challenge that is new to the retirement phase. More and more people in their 50s, 60s, even 70s are helping their adult kids navigate a rougher world than we expected. It’s not easy. It’s not fair. But it’s real.

The goal isn’t to walk away from your family. It’s to walk into this next season of life with clear eyes, open hearts, and a plan that honours everyone — including yourself.

Because your Prime Time hasn’t disappeared. It might just look different than you thought. And that’s okay.

The traditional view of retirement is a con, don’t fall for it

Extract of article published in print in The Age, The Sydney Morning Herald, Brisbane Times, WA Today on Sunday 23rd March 2025.

The traditional image of retirement – clocking out for the last time, getting your gold watch, and heading straight for a deck chair – is more fantasy than reality.

Retirement isn’t what it used to be, and thankfully, it’s no longer about winding down and slowly declining. Modern retirements can span 20 to 30 years, and for today’s 50- and 60-somethings, they could be even longer, thanks to superannuation and longer life expectancies.

A modern retirement is about embracing a new phase where we don’t have to work for income (or work much unless we want to), we still have our health, and we seek relevance, purpose, and belonging. But does that fit the word “retirement” any more?

Whether you’ve built up a solid superannuation balance or are still working on it, everyone can turn this phase into something that works for them. For some, it’s about securing enough passive income to feel financially free, then letting life unfold less actively. For most, it’s about getting their finances in order, then focusing on what’s next – finding purpose and building a new community.

Sure, the idea of sitting on a beach sounds nice for a few days (or maybe a couple of weeks), but after that? Most people crave more than just doing nothing. Modern retirement is about the freedom to pursue a second career, creative projects, or hobbies that didn’t fit into the work schedule.

This freedom comes from planning ahead – figuring out your finances early so that your choices align with your values and health. It’s about building a foundation that lets you live your best life, whatever that looks like.

And here’s the kicker: this new type of retirement is available to everyone, regardless of how much money you have. Yes, it’s tougher on a full pension, but whether you have ‘enough’ or ‘plenty,’ anyone can fall into the trap of being passive and waiting for a good retirement to come to them – but it doesn’t.

And financial freedom doesn’t automatically bring fulfilment. Even those with more than enough can struggle to find meaning and purpose in retirement.

So, if you’re craving retirement, acknowledge that the idyllic version is a myth. It’s a new phase that offers freedom, flexibility, and the chance to find joy and purpose – if you plan for it and act on your plans. With that in mind, here’s how you can make the most of this new chapter, proactively: (READ ON… here)

Read on — this article continues in The Age, The Sydney Morning Herald, Brisbane Times and WA Today.

How Trump's presidency and market volatility could affect YOUR super and your retirement plans

with Mary Delahunty, CEO of the Association of Superannuation Funds (ASFA)

If you've been watching the markets lately and thinking about your retirement, you're probably not alone in feeling a little uneasy. I’ve been getting loads of emails from people wondering whether Trump’s latest moves will ruin their retirement and asking if it's time to move to lower-risk investments, or even to the sidelines with their super.

And i want you to stop, look and listen before you react.

In this episode of Prime Time, I sit down with Mary Delahunty, CEO of the Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia (ASFA). We unpack what’s really going on with your superannuation in the midst of this downturn and how to take a considered approach to the current volatility in the market, especially if you’re thinking about retirement.

And, we talk about what your super fund is doing to support you during these unpredictable times, and how you can tap into advice and guidance to help navigate the uncertainty.

LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE OF THE PODCAST HERE:

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Last of all, if you haven’t read the book, you can order your copy from Amazon online. Or pick up a copy at your local Big W, Dymocks, or QBD stores. And if your bookstore doesn’t have it - ask them to get it in. It’s still regularly in the Amazon Top 200.

I have a little online store where you can purchase signed copies too.

Linda Worrall

Mar 23

This is a real mirror of our life too. Mental health issues, a long term relationship breakup and mild neurodivergence were the reasons for our eldest returning home. It’s been challenging at times but overall, it’s been positive. My main barrier to having an epic retirement since is the amount of ‘stuff’ throughout the house, garage & shed. While engaging a decluttering expert is one solution, it’s not a long term one. Multiple adult conversations have been had. Solutions?

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Kim Kennedy

The other side of the coin - both of our adult children live at home. One (29) with her partner, the other (36) with his wife and 2 young children (2yo & 5yo). We are fortunate in that we all have separate accommodation on a couple of acres. Both are employed and own their own houses and rent them out. We travel for about 6 months of the year so there is always someone to look after the house and dogs. Whilst the situation may not work for everyone, we wouldn’t have it any other way. Just another point of view.

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